One chance

I woke up thinking about consequences today. A friend jokingly advised me the other day, "don't think about the consequences." and we laughed about it. Oddly enough though, the thought and subject keep coming up since then, and it's given me a lot to think about.
One decision, to say something, wear something, do something, and that's it. It's done, you can't take it back. After that, you deal with the consequences. And there are always consequences.
Good or bad, you only get one chance. One chance to make the right choice.
I make one decision to react to correction defensively, and I deal with the consequence then of that persons perception of me. Even if I apologize and try to explain, it's still already done. If I choose one time to allow myself to walk down a bad path in my mind, thinking suspicious thoughts about my friends, I deal with the consequences. There's forgiveness from the Lord for my mistakes, and almost always from my loved ones. But the consequences are what make me stop making those mistakes, or what make me want to stop enough to depend on Him to save me from myself. Believe me, I would be so hopeless without Him.
So here's to good choices in Him, and good consequences. It's possible:).

Home

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause i’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause i’m going to make this place your home

Shocker

Guess what? Today, I am proud of myself. Because I'm being consistent, using my time wisely, making good decisions, and pursuing the Lord. Because I am trying to be me, in Him, and glorifying Him.
Because I'm taking all my thoughts to him and letting Him save me.
So yes, I'm proud of myself. And I'm intensely thankful for Him.

Crazy Love

Quotes from a book I'm reading right now, by Francis Chan. So far, it's pretty perfect. God knows what He's doing!
"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives... Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of Gods strength, our problems are small, indeed."

Bottle tears

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? Psalm 56:8

He bottles up every tear? Just thinking about the care and detail in that... And knowing which bottle belongs to who...

Yea, this really is the way I think during morning bible study. ;)

Anyway, it's an amazing thought.

Favs.

My newest favorite verses. These seriously mean so much to me...

" Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.
Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought.
For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Isaiah 41:9-13

 "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

for me!

Some verses the Lord has given me this week, a couple through my mom and a friend.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:4-5

I am overwhelmed by Satan- but the Lord is not.
       "The Lord shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."
Exodus 14:14

"How precious are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
Psalm 139:17

"Ye are of God little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."
1 John 4:4 

"I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
Jeremiah 29:11

New blog

It's probably obvious I have a few specific thoughts on my mind. Oh, but I do. ;)
Last week, I had a mental breakdown. I keep trying to explain it to myself, and a few other people, and to be honest, I do a bad job. I think it's best to simply say, I was morbidly depressed and suicidal, because of my own thoughts. I know there were satanic powers telling me lies. I am so shocked now by what my thoughts were, how I felt and what I was convinced of. It is terrifying.
I think it happened because of things I went through, yes, bad choices and mistakes I made for over 4 years, and being around demonic thoughts for that long. Not only am I incredibly confused by what real care and love look like, I have a severe weakness now, and Satan knows it. He spoke his lies to me through someone else for so long, and now that I left that situation, he just keeps the damage going in my own mind. I know it is him and not me, and after this last experience, I know I can't stand up to him. I'm so helpless against him - I've never felt so helpless before, so completely unable to defend or protect myself. The Lord is the only one that can save me, that has, did and does.
I have to truly depend on Him completely, and He is protecting me. That thought is something I keep saying to myself, and I love that it is slowly becoming more "truth" to me.
With that in mind, I have been writing down my thoughts in a notebook, and taking each one before the Lord. It isn't anything special, it's so simple and childishly truthful that it's embarrassing, but it's a tool I believe He is using to heal me. And I'll be honest, it really helps. I'm proud of myself for doing it (a big deal), and I kinda wanna share some of it on here.
Just so you know, I kinda feel stupid for being so dramatic. But at the same time, I don't feel like I'm being dramatic enough! Like, seriously- I was a basket case a few days ago, ready to drive my car off the road, because I was convinced I was unloved. That's kinda dramatic =P. Even more dramatic is the difference between that state of mind and my mind currently, when I'm actually believing and trusting God.
Anyways, life is dramatic ;).